Posts Tagged ‘Space Pirate’

Fifty Shades Of Crimson

Monday, August 27th, 2012

And now, something for the ladies.

Perhaps because of an edict from Lucasfilm, or possibly just an uncertainty as to where to go with the continuing adventures, the early Marvel Star Wars comics didn’t feature Darth Vader, or even the Empire. The first villain to appear was Crimson Jack, an old adversary of Han Solo’s and the Captain of a hijacked Imperial Star Destroyer.

Creators Roy Thomas and Howard Chaykin must have really latched on to the description of Solo as a “space pirate”, as most of Jack’s crew look like they would be at home at Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean. If he never used the phrase “planet lubbers”, they missed a trick. One wonders if he spoke in the traditional pirate manner. Come to think of it, why do we think all pirates talked like that? They can’t all have come from Bristol.

As tetchy and avaricious as Jack is, there’s something avuncular about him. Maybe he looked on Han as a kindred spirit or the son he never had or something. If so Han gets the opportunity to play out the trope of (spoiler alert for thirty four year old comics) killing his own father figure.


Just because my name is Jolli…

Wednesday, August 29th, 2012

Crimson Jack’s second in command is Jolli, an angry, young man-hating space babe. For someone who hates dudes so much, she’s made a peculiar choice of career – hanging out with a bunch of horny space pirates, wearing bright red knickers. To be fair, Jack himself can’t be bothered to put any trousers on, so I dunno, maybe the air conditioning is knackered on that ship. She also wears a green beret, presumably because she just doesn’t give a fuck. When Han Solo arrives on board, Jolli starts to have some confusing feelings. Well, she’s only human, and he’s monumentally good looking, roguishly charming, and manages to make a waistcoat look cool. At this point, at the age of six, I should have realised that I needed to start modelling myself on him. Instead, I think I still wanted to be C-3PO, so there was no hope for me.

Young Jolli never got to have sexy times with our dashing Corellian scoundrel. Instead she was betrayed by the pirates (surprise), and ploughed a Y Wing Fighter into the side of Jack’s Space Cruiser. We learn that as a child she was also abandoned by her father which led her to a life of piracy and barely dressed misandry. This may have been my first experience of pathos.

If the UK editions of Marvel Star Wars series had been printed in colour, I can only presume I would now have a fetish for girls with pink hair.


Rik Duel

Thursday, October 2nd, 2014


Rik Duel was always a pale imitation of Han Solo, and I think he knew it. At least he got there years before Dash Rendar.