Posts Tagged ‘running’

The Loneliness Of The Middle Distance Runner

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Usually, when it comes to charity, I leave it to others to actually do stuff, and I maybe bung them a couple of quid to assuage my own guilt. However, I have decided to change that and sign up for the Beverley 10k Run on Sunday 8th May. And by “decided to” I mean my brother in law “volunteered” me. Now I am uncertain whether runners who do not complete the course within a particular time are ritually killed in the manner of a futuristic sci-fi dystopia, but I’m not taking any chances. I’m getting into training, bitch! And by “training” I mean “made a playlist”

So if you want to support the Cystic Fibrosis Trust, and you have ever enjoyed any of the comics on this site (or, more probably, you have made your way here by accident while searching for “sexy teenage Saruman porn”) please sponsor me, either on My JustGiving Page, or on the Team’s Virgin Money Giving Page.

You’ll notice that on the team page, I am listed as “Dr Simon Perrins”. I feel it is my duty to inform you that, like Dr Fox, Dr Who and Dr Funkenstein, I’m not licensed to practise medicine.

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Sticking My Mech Out

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

My heroic fundraising run is fast approaching, and, while I have every confidence that I will finish the race, I am uncertain that I will be able to do so with my dignity, not to mention my bodily functions intact. This occurred to me after I watched Emmanuel Mutai finishing the 2011 London Marathon – legend! And let’s not forget Paula Radcliffe’s performance in 2005, even though I’m sure she’d rather we did.

To this end, I have formulated a brilliant plan, ensuring I can complete the race in style. I recently watched Iron Man, and while I realise that movie is science fiction, it’s three years old, so I bet most of what is presented onscreen is now possible. My scheme involves creating a pair of robot legs that will be fitted with shock absorbers, a built in MP3 player (with skip feature enabled) and some kind of turbo boost for the final stretch. Although my experience in engineering, electronics and coming up with a cool colour scheme is limited, how hard can it be? I am almost certain that I can make it work without the mechanism trying to put one foot twenty one miles in front of the other, at any rate.

Of course, there’s a slight chance that this might not come to pass, as some of the parts I’ve ordered take a maximum of 28 days for delivery. If that happens, I will have to revert to the original plan and tackle the race au naturel. Either way, I would appreciate you sponsoring me.

EDIT: Well, I did the race and finished it in 56 mins and 12 seconds. Not bad until you find out my official finishing position was 675th. All done without the aid of robot legs because, well, that was just an idiotic joke. Sorry to ruin the illusion. Next time I’ll just run faster. However, you may, if you wish, still sponsor me.

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Another Shameless Money Grab

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

Actually I’m doing another run for Charity, yo. Get your ass on over to my Virgin Money Giving page and lob us a couple of quid. Biggest donation gets some awesome unique commissioned art, along the lines of that wonderful picture of Van Halen, above. Or take your pick from the gallery. Either way, VOTE! Uh, I mean DONATE!

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