Posts Tagged ‘Rock of Ages’

I don’t know what “Diamond Head” is, but it looks cool!

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

A constant bugbear of mine is the ironic rock T shirt, a phenomenon that refuses to die, like a particularly fetid revenant. In relation to this, here we have a story ripped from the headlines (of August 2007). Namely, David Beckhams wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt.

So, David Beckhams has chosen Killers. Possibly he appreciates the chaotic clatter of Another Life, or the atypical (semi-) acoustic (semi-) ballad Prodigal Son. Or maybe it’s the classic stomper Wrathchild that gets a regular airing in the Beckhams household. Maybe he enjoys the gritty rasping vocals of Paul Di’Anno (soon to be replaced by the human foghorn, Bruce Dickinson). I’m sure “Becks” has strong feelings about the “punk” sound of the early albums, quickly abandoned in favour of the more operatic, vaguely prog metal style that they developed with Lord Iffy Boatrace. One wonders what Beckhams’ thoughts are on ’ver Maiden’s decision to replace long serving cover artist Derek Riggs, for a series of inferior covers on the later albums (like Dance of Death – urgh! – Poser!). He obviously prefers the work of Riggs, why else would he choose the earlier album cover?

On the other hand that T-shirt was probably just chosen for him at random by some coke addled stylist.

Wannabe hipsters regularly write in to Hate magazine asking where they might find such t-shirts. They should go to Leeds’ Rock of Ages, cos there’s fucking millions of them!

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VALHALLA I AM COMING!

Friday, February 26th, 2010

I just finished playing through Brütal Legend, an absurdly badassed videogame, in which “Eddie Riggs” (the world’s greatest roadie, voiced by Jack Black) is transported into a Sword & Sorcery Fantasyland, seemingly based on every Heavy Metal album cover ever. Here he finds he can make people’s heads explode by playing guitar, and sets off to unite the rock loving population against some S&M demons (lead by Tim Curry).

Although it inexplicably turns into a Real Time Strategy game, not a genre I have ever excelled at, it has enough action/adventure/exploration stuff to keep me happy. Unsurprisingly, given that the project was masterminded by Tim Schafer of Monkey Island and Day of The Tentacle fame, it has a terrific storyline and cast of characters. It’s these, as well as its loving tribute to the absurdity and awesomeness of the world of metal, that are its strongest elements.

In fact, the characters and design of the game are so strong that it seems to me Brütal Legend would totally work as a movie. Some time ago I bemoaned the fact that with all the “epic fantasies” being adapted by Hollywood, in the wake of the Lord of The Rings and Harry Potter movies, none of them has had the balls to have a full on metal soundtrack. Bombastic fantasy imagery fits perfectly with bombastic music (see also Flash Gordon). When Eddie first comes face to face with demonic scumbag monks, Black Sabbath’s Children of the Grave comes creeping out of the mist. Escaping a glam metal “Pleasure Palace” in a souped up hot rod is soundtracked by Dragonforce’s furiously hyperactive Through The Fire and Flames, and battles with the goth faction Drowning Doom are fought to the symphonic black metal sounds of Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir and Apostasy. Elsewhere, bonafide classics such as Diamond Head’s Am I Evil, Budgie’s Breadfan and Motörhead’s We Are The Road Crew can be heard. As a game it’s a wonderful romp, but as a cinematic experience, it would be a riot.

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